Today was a day like most others this winter. I woke up and headed off to work. I also brought my running gear thinking I would fit in a lunchtime run around the lake near my office. Got to work, gave a presentation in the morning, and before I knew it midday had rolled around. Time for me to change up and head out for a quick dart through the chilled winter's air. But something held me back.
Was today not a good day for a run?
I vacillated back and forth on this one. Picking up my bag and then putting it back down. Twice. Stalling by chatting with an officemate who asked me to go to lunch. Hmmm, that seemed like a much better proposition than running out in the cold. But wait, am I kidding? How wimpy am I? It's not even that cold outside today, and the roads are totally clear.
It's not always been easy to get myself up and out for some of these wintertime runs, whether solo or with a run club. The group runs add a better dimension of "peer pressure" and fun camaraderie - but still, even those have been tough. It's been many an evening this year where a group of us have left the warm comforts of the Crossroads bar, shoved ourselves like sardines on a rush-hour Green line train out to Woodland - and with every stop (above ground), when those doors open letting people off and on, the harsh chill of cold air would whip right in through the compartment, and I would occasionally think to myself, "What the heck am I doing? Why am I doing this? In shorts nonetheless. People are right, I must be a little crazy." That feeling stays with me, especially strong through the last few stops, until Woodland comes. By then I've retied my laces, had a few stretches, and chatted up my fellow runners enough to distract myself from meeting that initial wall of cold air upon stepping off the train.
Thankfully, once we step off the train, everything changes. Every moment of doubt, uncertainty, and "wimpyness" is washed away with a feeling of correctness. We step off that train, and in a matter of moments - it's down to business. A sea of high visibility gear cruises down alongside the road. In the bone-chilling cold, a wave of warmth and comfort blankets me, it's a feeling I'll never get tired of, and hopefully will never stop pursuing. The runs invariably comprise chattiness and storytelling with silent, zen-like focus on breath and steps. As much as I sometimes just don't want to get up and out, I'm almost always glad that I did anyway.
Well, fast forward back to today, cause we've got to live in the present. Am I going to run or not? Is this one of those days that I don't feel like running, but should anyway? Or should I listen to what my body and inner voice is telling me, and just skip it. I mean it's just one day. Nothing bad is going to happen if I don't run today, right?
For that moment, I decide not to run. Instead, I grab a bite to eat with my colleague and then get back to work. Still an itch compels me to continue rationalizing the possibility of a run today. I can always carve out time later in the day for a run. Or I can always go home and run later in the evening. "Sure I can", I think - mildly convincing at best.
The afternoon ticks away, and by late afternoon it seems I can no longer ignore the itch for a run. I carve out some time at work, and can reasonably get that quick jaunt in after all. This was going to be great. I was getting myself all psyched up for it. I grabbed my bag and headed to the locker room. Changed into my shorts, long-sleeve shirt, socks and running shoes. Stuffed my ID badge/access card in my shorts pocket, grabbed my gloves and headband and took two steps out the locker room door. Something was still not right. I stood there for a minute in contemplation, then turned around, re-dressed back into my work clothes and went back to work.
If it doesn't feel right, it just might not be the right time for a run. Who knows for sure. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Yes, this post was a whole lot of rambling for not having run. Sorry, very anti-climactic, I know. I've run 55 miles in the past 11 consecutive days, and with a race coming up this weekend, maybe I should give the body a rest. My left knee seems to be doing much better, but that could be a result of my tight left calf muscle compensating? See, now I'm starting to rationalize not going for a run. Ugh. Enough second guessing. "Live again to run another day", I say.
Instead of a run today, I polished off the final pages of my new favorite book...
No comments:
Post a Comment